insomnia.

i've had it alot in the last i dont know...5 months almost...mostly cuz im nervous alot. sometimes im afraid i might miss a text or a call or something from beth. i miss her more than anything. i love her so much...some people might say "well you've only seen her in real life once" i respond with i dont care. shes the nicest, cutest, wierdest person you'll ever meet. she doesnt take kindly to new people and thats understandable i suppose. she had a bad past, much like myself. shes been going thru a rough patch without me and im the same. i've been miserable. i think ive been happy 3 times since shes been gone. its almost like im talking like shes dead and gone. shes far from it. shes turning 16 in a week and im so happy...sorta. i just wish she could celebrate it the right way. 6 months and counting bethy. i love ya.