for beth.

i know it was u. it couldve only been one person. WHAT DID YOU WANT FROM ME. YOU TOLD ME TO MOVE ON, YOU HAD TO. WHAT DO I DO TELL ME. YOU DONT TALK TO ME. ITS BEEN A FUCKING MONTH. I DIDNT EVEN KNOW IF YOU WERE ALIVE ANYMORE, NOW U COME BACK AND DO THIS? I DONT UNDERSTAND YOU. I CANT UNDERSTAND YOU. WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME? YOU THINK ITS EASY SLEEPING AT NIGHT? I WAS IN SO MUCH PAIN I WANTED TO DIE. I REALLY FUCKING DID. I COULDNT DO IT THOUGH CUZ I KNEW ONE DAY I MIGHT BE ABLE TO FUCKING SEE MY FUCKING LIFE THROUGH AND ACTUALLY SEE YOU AND LIVE MY FUCKING LIFE WITH YOU. BUT YOU ENDED IT RIGHT THERE. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME.

shit.

i have friends in my real life. not just my internet life. but my real friends dont even act like my friends. they dont call/text me to hang out and whenever i call or text them they either never reply or they just forget about me. i hate this. if someone would just invite me to do something or just to hang out and talk i wouldnt care. but since all my irl friends completely ignore me ive thought of just completely cutting them out of my life. just deleting my myspace/facebook, destroying all my old contacts. starting fresh. i hate that. i hate that i feel like shit everytime someone says they have fun cuz i never seem to have real fun anymore. fuck u milwaukee, you can suck my fucking balls.