moving on..

its possible that its happening..whether my subconcious wants it or not im not sure...i know for a fact that this month without u has been one of the toughest in my entire life...loss of sleep and not eating much for the first 2 weeks of my single-ness nearly killed me...i care not to explain why...i have found someone new i suppose...we're alot alike...shes not u...shes never gonna be u. i dont want her to be. she is herself and i like that. ive been able to sleep better and eat pretty much the same way i always have been, drinking soda and eating junk food alot with very little fruits and veggies. lol that really has to change if i want to lose my chunkyness...lawl i've sorta been on a hiatus from actually talking to anyone on the internet besides a few ppl for the past week...it feels good to spend some time away from all the drama and actually have fun. i also really really need to start talking to my irl friends more...my friend demarcus is coming back to milwaukee tomarrow im actually somewut excited to hangout with him even tho the last time we did hang out was kinda awkward...it should go better this time...im gonna try to get my stoner friend alex to hang with us too even tho all that nigga does is smoke weed, skateboard and play cod on ps3...fag lawl...oh and im also in debt...i should be out by the end of the week and should be able to have some money to save and i can get back on track to saving up for 789...wewt kbai

/relationship

it happened at 11pm on may the 4th. i was leaving work and got the bad news. prolly the worst news ever. she ended it. just like that. she couldnt keep the pain she had to move on. i know for a fact she wont. not anytime soon. neither will i. im so numb right now i havent cried. i havent slept or eaten much. i have neusea whenever i even think of food. i wish i knew when my life will get better. cuz as of may 6th 2009 i have hit rock bottom. and im so bitter. not angry. just bitter. i wont stop loving u. this isnt over. not for me. not for us. u will always, always be my bethy boo. my bethany ann nielsen. thats all i gotta say about that.